Thank you Easter Bunny. Bok Bok!

Last year John was still one-year-old when my high school Alumni Easter Egg hunt took place. He really hadn't mastered the knack of holding his easter basket and picking up the plastic eggs and putting them into the basket then gathering more eggs. He picked up one egg (there were THOUSANDS in front of him on the football field), looked at it closely, held it tightly, then threw it as far and hard as he could. Of course. That's what he did (and still kinda does) with little round things. That's my boy! He's going to become a switch-hitting shortstop for one of the cool MLB teams (not the Yankees). He's going to make his mama lots of money with his MLB contracts.

Well, during the hunt, John picked up maybe 10 eggs total and threw all of them (quite well, I might add). I was proud of him, for not following the crowd, for going against the flow, for not caring about the candy. For making heads turn. He hit no one with his egg-throwing. Was that good? He now can hit a target when he throws rocks at the river. Some big kids ran around the football field, pushing the little ones (read "John") out of the way, picking up as many eggs as they could. John managed to save 2 eggs and the candy that was inside (I put them into his basket when he wasn't looking). My "sweet" nephew, who was 4.5 years old last Easter, was one of the big kids TAKING from the innocent young ones. I wanted to take all of his eggs and throw them at him and his dad (my brother) for being so pushy.

Well, this year is different. My sweet John is two-almost-three and is quite smart. He knows, now, about bullies, about big kids who push little ones. He knows right & wrong and usually chooses right. He's not perfect and has pushed other children when he wanted something they had. I don't condone pushing others and I don't let John get away with pushing or hurting others. When other children hurt John, I don't let them get away with it either. I talk to them, put them in time-out, talk to their parent. NO ONE PUSHES MY JOHN AND MY JOHN PUSHES NO ONE. Unless he has to. Here's my point...

I believe that sometimes you (read "John") have to defend yourself. Sometimes, when you are bullied, you need to fight back. Sometimes you need to show the bully that you won't take their bullying. Talking doesn't work, action does. I believe that all parents need to teach their boys how to punch someone safely in the stomach, to fold them over, so the bullying stops. I don't mean that John should punch someone to get what he wants. That's wrong. I do mean that, if someone repeatedly bullies John, he should tell an adult and them fold that child over. Once. That's all it usually takes. The bully usually stops after being physically stopped by the child being bullied. Talking by the adults, making the kids talk, usually doesn't stop the bullying. Children turn a deaf ear to adult talk. So do I, actually. Actions speak louder than words. We've all heard that and I firmly believe it in all sorts of areas and aspects.

So, today, to get ready for Easter, John and Joseph and I went outside. John carried his easter basket and practiced collecting eggs. He & his dad had thrown little golf-ball-sized whiffle balls into the front yard. They were strewn about, and John pretended they were eggs and collected them all. He is ready for the Alumni Easter Egg hunt. He is not yet ready to punch a kid in the stomach. Wouldn't really be appropriate for a religious holiday. But I'm getting ready to teach him how. How to "fold someone over" and when to "fold someone over". That is a life-skill my boys need to know and it's our job, as parents, to teach them how and when to do it.

I'm not in favor of violence. I just know boys. I have two brothers. I taught boys for 16 years. I'm a mom, now, to two boys and am married to a big boy. I know how they solve problems, how they solve conflict, how their brains and hearts work. I know how they forgive and surrender and conquer. I know how they don't hold grudges and how they move on and how physical acts really help the process. I despise bullying and I see it happening more and more in our schools and at our parks. Our boys need to know what bullying is and how to stop it. And I believe that adults talking about it helps, but boys doing something about it works. My John is learning how to collect Easter eggs, how and when to hit targets with rocks and other round things, how to give love to his little brother, how to be gentle around people, and how to defend himself. He is going to be gentle and strong and peaceful and fun-loving and hard-working and respectful and assertive and loving and healthy and happy and wise. These are what I pray for, for my John and Joseph.