Our Family

I've been reading some friends' blogs about their times at BlogHer2010. I wish I could say "I wish I had gone to NYC and BlogHer", but I don't need to go. Not yet. I'm not a big blogger - I don't have time. I don't have time to write, I don't have time to read, I don't have time to even formulate complete sentences usually. I get inspirations, ideas, thoughts that grab me, but by the time my babies are in bed and my chores are finished, I'm so tired I am incoherent.

It is getting easier. My boys are sleeping more through the night, except for John's night-terrors. I've been going into him at 2:30 am and 5:30 am almost every night for about 3 weeks now. I lay down with him, hold him and his soccer ball, stroke his sweaty hair off of his forehead, and fall asleep. A while later, I hear Joseph crying (without the monitor - can you believe it?), climb out of John's little bed, and go to my baby baby. (John is my big boy baby, Joseph is my baby baby). Then I sleep with Joseph until he awakes, usually about 6:30 am. He starts to play with his binkie, talks, rolls around, looks at me, then scoots over or rolls over to me and touches my face. He is so fun to sleep with. It takes me a few minutes to awaken, since I had been awake a few times already during the night. But then we stay in bed until John awakens, playing, snuggling, smiling at each other, holding hands, playing "binkie hide and seek". When John awakens, he comes into bed with us, saying "Little Joey" as he gives Joey "the love". He loves Joey so hard!

Anyway, I digress. I started writing this post after reading about BlogHer2010, about the friends who are realizing that their actual and supportive friends are online, not in their same town. I started thinking about my own friends and family. I have been trying to create a family for a while now. I have a family, my parents, siblings and their spouses, nieces & nephews, aunts & uncles, cousins. But we are not close anymore. We have grown apart, our children have grown apart, and life is going on.

After feeling lonely for comeraderie, I started making family time with friends and their families. I started seeking out friends with children John's & Joseph's ages, so we could plan family outings with them. I am creating a new family for myself. I love my "family of origin", and always will, but I LIKE and LOVE my new family. I have friends from long ago, who have friends John's ages (Jenny & Ann), friends from our co-op (Kristen, Candace, Norma, Stacey, Kristina, Elise, Jovanka, Nancy), friends from our book club which no longer meets and no longer reads books but remain my best friends (Paula, Jane, Kendra, Jennifer, Alicia, MaryBeth, Nicole). I am, I say it again, creating my family. I hope to remain friends with these amazing women and their children & spouses for the rest of my life. I hope to make new friends at my boys' new schools, and include them in my family. I think it is important to create routines and rituals for my boys. Things they can remember and look forward to and predict. Family Time with our extended "family" is one thing I want to consistently plan and do. We need those connections, that support. I don't have it with fellow bloggers (yet???), but am creating it with my friends who know me better than my "family of origin" does. Is it weird? Yes, a bit. I thought I'd be super close to my siblings and we'd raise our children together. Not happening. We have nothing, really, in common. We have different values and wishes for our children. And, it's okay. I have matured enough (I hope) to recognize this and accept it. And to create a circle of friends my boys can turn to for fun, support, and love.

Our new family. Our chosen family. We love and like them. And it is good.